I’ve been thinking about the idea of having everything I consider ‘home’ fit into one suitcase. It has helped me realise what’s important to me and also, helped me get my head around decluttering.
If I can only take one suitcase worth of items with me and that’s it, I am forced to ask myself what is essential? What do I value above all else that I really could never replace or live without? The truth surprised me. If I had to evacuate my current dwelling and could only take with me a handful of things, there is only one thing I would take.
One.
My cat’s ashes. That’s it. Of everything I’ve bought and thought I could not live without, I realise it’s all replaceable. Expensive, sure but doable. My boy’s ashes are the only thing in my entire house that I could never, ever replace. They are priceless to me and the ONLY thing I would grab if I had to take only one thing.
It made me realise everything else can be nice to have but is not essential. I’ll find clothes somewhere else, furniture, kitchen items, towels. It can all be replaced. All. The biggest attachment we have to things we own I’m convinced is the importance we put into choosing them, that they must fit a style and aesthetic we wish to display. They need to express our values be it sustainability or monetary value. They need to create the ‘right’ look. Very, very few things we own are important because it is the thing itself.
‘Oh this? I got this on a trip I took about 20 years ago, it reminds me of the night I spent in the local cafe, singing and having fun with locals. If I lost it, I’d be upset, but could I find something else to do its job if I had to? Sure’
I can’t say that about my cat’s ashes. If I lost them, I could never replace them and they are the only important connection I have with him. I have the blanket I knited for him that he loved but if I lost it I would not be heartbroken, not like how I’d be with the loss of his ashes.
That thought alone has helped me realise I don’t need this stuff I’ve been holding onto for ‘what if’ or ‘one day’. I don’t need it. It just takes up space in my mind and my home that it really doesn’t have to. In this one moment of realising what truly matters to me, I was able to disconnect emotionally from everything around me. Creating a home that looked a certain way was absolutely important to me, it was everything because I didn’t really have a sense of who I am or what I want. I had no sense of what was important to me so it all was. And when everything is important, nothing is.
As I look around me at all the objects I’ve been collecting, all I see are objects, there is no attachment to any of them. I have just recently bought these really nice baskets I’m going to use to corral items in the pantry into categories so it will at least appear orderly when you open the pantry door. I’ve been super excited about doing over the pantry and putting them into place but now as I look at them, I realise as much as I like them, they are just baskets and if I needed to use something else instead, I could with little upset. I feel like I have finally come to a place where I can not only embrace minimalism as a concept but put it into action.
It’s not that I have too much stuff, it’s that I have too much I don’t need. I am suddenly aware of feeling like I’m suffocating because of all the stuff around me. This stuff has not only been dragging my mood down and draining me of energy by just being around, it has also been robbing me of my ability to breathe easily. I feel like I’ve been trapped and slowly going insane – and all because of stuff I’ve never really needed.