Asceticism
/ə-sĕt′ĭ-sĭz″əm/
noun
- the trait of great self-denial (especially refraining from worldly pleasures)
- the doctrine that through renunciation of worldly pleasures it is possible to achieve a high spiritual or intellectual state
- rigorous self-denial and active self-restraint
One of the most popular images of an ascetic is a Middle Ages monk living in a dark, somber cell, in a stone monestary, isolated in mysterious woods somewhere, no speaking, hard work or writing texts and abysmal food. If you like those sort of visuals then you’ll probably love the tv series Caedfael, lead role played by the wonderful Derek Jacobi. It’s about a mystery sleuthing monk centuries ahead of his time. But I digress.
Slightly more well read and you might know of Hindu yogis and Buddhist monks and nuns who have taken up the ascetic life as part of their religion. You would be completely forgiven for thinking it was only part of a religious life, but did you know atheist ascetics exist? People who do not need the existence of any deity to make sense of this world or their place in it and who also see asceticism as fitting right in with that understanding. People who see letting go of attachment to things and the desire for ‘more’ as living in harmony with the physical world we live in and a net positive.
This is where I see myself fitting in. I’ve felt it all my life in little ways, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes very present but always there like a miniscule thread weaving my life. I’ve seen it at times when I had money and wanted to spend it on friends and family to make them happy. The times I’ve secretly donated money to people to help them in a time of need. The times I’ve made donations to causes I believe in. I have always seen money as a tool for making others happy as well as meeting my own needs, not at the expense of my needs and it’s why I’ll never be rich. For me, the greater part of the meaning of life is what we can do for others after taking care of our own needs. I don’t understand greed and never will. I’ve had my moments of being selfish, of wanting something just for me or more of something, but that is a far cry from greed. Being selfish is a momentary experience, you can be selfish sometimes and giving others, but greed will always colour everything a person does because greed is a mental illness, yet to be recognised as one.
I see myself fitting in with atheist ascetics but I don’t call myself that. This stage of my life is still unfolding and I prefer the term non-theist rather than atheist. For me they mean the same thing, but I’ve found when some people hear ‘atheist’ they get defensive, even combative. Somehow, my not believing in or accepting a deity is considered a threat to the deity they do believe. Never could work that one out, if your deity is real how can my not believing in them possibly harm them?
I feel non-theist is less hard-line and militant sounding than atheist. For right now at least, it feels right. I don’t fully know how this will unfold in my life or what changes it will bring, I only know this feels very much in alignment with who I am as a person and have always been. There were many times in my childhood where I had these thoughts and feelings about the world but not the words to label them, nor the ability to do anything about them. Going through a few years of feeling suffocated by the amount of stuff I owned surrounding me and then taking steps to dispose of it all has sparked my desire to explore this further. So many times I’ve wanted to just walk away and leave it all behind but didn’t. Maybe my lesson in that was to learn to stay in place and send that around me away instead. I’m not going to deny I feel a huge shift is coming to how the world operates and owning much, much less could just turn out to be an advantage. For now, I’ll follow my inkling.